Friday , 28 August 2015

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My latest Jokes

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Man kills a burglar that turns out to be his son

Via Reuters

A Connecticut man shoots and kills a masked burglar only to find out it's his son.  You would think the son would have waited till no one was home to rob the place.  But I guess if he's not smart enough to do that, then he's also not smart enough to get a job.

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Ricardo Aleman

Ricardo Aleman

I know the guy that runs this place
Hoboken, NJ

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Doctor that removes the wrong lung let back to work

Dr. Santusht Perera, who removed the wrong lung in a patient about ten years ago, is now being let back into the operating room in Hoboken, NJ. I'm sure he's a great surgeon, just a little dyslexic, so he will be supervised for a year: "Left hand makes the L, Doc."

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Ricardo Aleman

Ricardo Aleman

I know the guy that runs this place
Hoboken, NJ

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Why I don't Vote

This past Election Day, as usual, I didn't vote. Voting isn't a system that works.  The majority of people are idiots, and in voting, the majority of people are right.  Politicians learn early on that they have to lie, make false promises, and hide their real agendas to get the majority of voters, who don't know what they are talking about, to vote them into office.  I don't really blame them, as that is the position they are put in to succeed.  It just makes it impossible to tell who's corrupt, and who's trying to help.  They all have to lie to some extent.  If the good one's don't lie, they'll lose to the bad one's who do because people are voting based on campaign promises that sound good.  If a politician stood there and was realistic with everyone about what they think could be done, he wouldn't sound very exciting. When have we had a candidate that came anywhere close to delivering what they promised in their campaign?  Has that ever happened? Take Obama for example, the whole time he was campaigning, he didn't even know the details of the job he was applying for.  They don't give you the top secret briefing till after you are elected.

"Oh, remember all those things you promised in your campaign.... Well, there are a few things we should probably fill you in on.  Number 1, we're dead broke.  Our credit score is horrible, and we're not even getting low interest balance transfer offers from France anymore.  Oh, and we haven't been getting a lot done lately cause everyone's out sick with some weird flu"

If a corporation was run by a president that was elected by all it's employee's, that corporation would go out of business. Employees don't know company secrets or what it takes to make the real money.  The majority of people walking into a voting both simply don't know what they are talking about.  I myself am no political genius and by my own guidelines am not qualified to vote.  Voting is a nice fairytale, and at the same time, I don't have a better solution to offer.  I do think and hope that we have enough checks and balances to keep us out of any real disasters, but I'm starting to have my doubts.

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Ricardo Aleman

Ricardo Aleman

I know the guy that runs this place
Hoboken, NJ

George Bush and the Nobel Peace Prize

When I say to people that it's a little early to give Obama a Nobel Peace prize.  Some argue that he's done a lot more for peace in 8 months than Bush did in 8 years.

I would like to point out that George Bush should be in jail, and not simply overlooked for a peace prize.  Yes, Obama is a better president, but it's only been 8 months folks! I give him an incomplete.... I would give him "World Leader of the Month" for some months, but Nobel is jumping the gun.    

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Ricardo Aleman

Ricardo Aleman

I know the guy that runs this place
Hoboken, NJ

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize, but for what exactly?

I'm pro Obama, but so far it seems a little early to be giving him something like this.  It seems he won based on good intentions, or maybe they are forced to grade on a curve these days...

"Well a C+ was the highest grade in the class, so Obama, congratulations, you win!" 

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Ricardo Aleman

Ricardo Aleman

I know the guy that runs this place
Hoboken, NJ
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